My new favorite blog-

"Doesn't urgency over everything imply that God's in control of nothing? Or do we secretly like blustering about perpetually stressed --- because we suppose it's evidence of the pressing importance of our work? And yet if I'm on edge, doesn't that mean I'm not centered in Him?" Ann Voskamp, Holy Experience blog

This quote is from an old post called "Real Stress Relief" on her blog, just an example of her lovely journal.

I will add this to my list on the right. Five days a week I check this blog and am deeply touched and moved by the raw beauty and truth that she posts. It is a true encouragement and you would be blessed to go there with me

A Walk to Beautiful

Kent and I watched this tonight and were so inspired. What a tragedy for these women! How we take for granted having roads, cars, instant access to hospitals with surgeons and technology right when we need it.


We long to be out of debt and free to serve wherever God is leading us. Please pray that we will persevere and be faithful in our efforts.

Cover letter for my midwifery resume

To Whom It May Concern:
I am becoming a midwife because I have seen too much to not become one. Over the past five years, since I had my daughter at home and started attending home births (and the occasional birth center birth), I have seen a better way, and I need to spread the word. I had been working as a doula attending hospital births for three years prior, and truly had felt called to help empower women and the families to achieve their desired births. But I now know that that was just a stepping stone on my midwifery path. Since then, I have seen numerous beautiful and safe births at home…
I have seen a young 20-year-old woman sail through the transition phase of labor in the jetted tub at the birth center, and then beautifully deliver her own daughter while lying on her side on a queen-sized bed. I have witnessed the serene birth of a couple in their thirties who spent most of the labor of their first child outside under the stars in their hot tub. The mom then calmly entered the house, only to deliver her baby crouching in the 4:00am moonlight streaming from the window. She immediately, yet slowly pulled the baby to her chest, so quietly. I have seen a 42-year-old home-schooling, goat-raising mother of ten rejoice in her first waterbirth. My doula clients of over five years ago have no idea that this world exists, that this kind of birth is even possible. I had no idea when I had my son. But now I have seen too much to go back….
I have seen a lot- good and bad, wonderful and terrifying. I have seen shoulder dystocias- handled expertly by midwives, then gruesomely by an OB. I have seen severe maternal hemorrhages, an inverted uterus, an umbilical cord snap upon delivery, mouth-to-mouth baby resuscitation, malpresentations, thick fresh meconium, preterm labor, partial placental ruptures and a complete breech (undiagnosed) home delivery (on a primip!), ALL of these complications handled perfectly by a skilled midwife. I have seen that good, wise midwives can handle these events appropriately or transfer care to the hospitals when warranted. I am going to be one of these midwives.
So I want to become a midwife. I hope to serve families in my community by providing them with safe, yet beautiful birth experiences. I want parents to truly learn what informed consent is and what their rights are; as consumers, as patients, as parents. This will empower them so much as they become bigger families and go on from their birth, to hire pediatricians, family docs, or any healthcare service provider in the future.
I want to help women learn to take responsibility for their own health and diets, during pregnancy and throughout the rest of their lives. Their nutrition and lifestyle can affect their health, for good or bad. Too often I’ve seen healthcare providers fail to teach women this. It is all pathology to them and the answers are all too often pharmaceuticals or other technologies. They don’t trust birth. They don’t trust the design.
I trust the design. I have “what it takes”. I have good math, science and problem-solving skills. I am very relational, and have a keen sense at all times of what my role is in situations with other people. I consider myself to have a very observant nature in general and pride myself on my ability to remain calm in crisis. And as my maid of honor pointed out at my wedding, I am very loyal. Completely reliable. Ask the midwives I have assisted in the past.
I am first and foremost a child of God, secondly my husband’s wife, and thirdly my children’s mom. But God has given me a passion for birth and I firmly believe that midwifery is my calling. He has provided me with the honor of being present at each birth I have attended. I will go where He next leads me on this path.

I'm still here....

and I have a post brewing in my head that I promise to do in the next couple of days.

The other thing I've been working on...

Christ Centered Birthing

Sorely Neglected-

Sorry poor blog, for you have been sorely neglected. And I don't have any particular reason, well, not any ONE particular reason. This summer was terrific! We had a great time. It was a blessing in disguise that Kent was unable to find summer work- he and kids and dog had many lovely days and nights together, while I was at births. They discovered new places to hike and read stories and watched movies. Ah, the lazy days of summer... And we seem to have indian summers up here- the weather usually stays really nice and mild through September. Kent and Corbin just started school on September 21st.
About three weeks before school started, Nana and Papa surprised us by announcing that they want to take each of their grandchildren on an individual trip when that child is around 9-years-old. And, that they want to take Corbin to Disneyland before school starts! So, Corbin, Nana, and Papa road tripped over to Fresno to visit the Hakkarinens for a couple of days, and then drove on down to Disneyland for three days, and then Legoland before driving all the way home (staying at hotels with swimming pools all along the way, of course!). They had a great time- and I will post pics very soon!

My first video post

I LOVE this so much!! I think it is beautiful, makes me smile from ear to ear. I was just telling Kent a week ago or so that I long to have some kind of magic moment like the end of Slumdog Millionaire, or an old Drew Carey episode- where the crowd of people around me burst into a spontaneous, choreographed dance. Ahhhhhhh... if my life were a musical. A childhood dream of mine- along with a purple VW Beetle...

A little more on frugality...

So, as I have been blogging about, I am still learning much about coupons and saving money on household expenses. Melissa asked a good question on my previous post about non-food items such as toiletries and detergents. Apparently, by combining store coupons, manufacturer's coupons and store sales one can get many of these items for free. Particularly from the drugstores like RiteAid, Walgreens and CV. I am still trying to figure out how this works exactly. But, I would like to throw out there 3 good blogs that I follow that are resources:
-The Frugal Girl is a really helpful blog that I follow regularly and have mentioned before in past posts.
-The Frugal Girl refers to Money Saving Mom here for more info on coupons and getting things for free.
-And Frugal Chic Living is local for those of you living in my community.
These sites can really help you on the makeup and toiletries.
As for detergents and cleaning products I have really enjoyed making my own laundry soap and cleaning products- for health and cost reasons, and I just like them better.

Groceries...

I was greatly distressed about budgeting my grocery shopping a couple of months back, as some of you may recall. I was trying to find the perfect system between couponing and making everything from scratch. Thank you for your suggestions and thoughts on the matter. I truly believe that every woman needs to come to a place where she is confident in her household decision making- especially regarding cooking/menus/shopping. It certainly will not look the same for every family. But, every wife/mother needs to feel as if she is succeeding in her role as mistress of the home and kitchen. I think I am arriving in that place, and it feels good.
That being said- I am not going to say that I have found the perfect system and you all should start doing things my way. NOT AT ALL! But, I have found what works best for my household for now, and that could be very different in a couple years, or maybe this will work for us for the next decade. I just want you all to know that I have found some peace about this- which is good! I'm spending less time stressing about whether or not I am spending our resources wisely, and I am instead spending more time loving on my kiddos and encouraging my husband (OH, and going to births!).
;-)
For those of you still reading this, and curious about where/how I shop now- here it is:
I am buying my produce at local stands- I love the quality and the price- and there is a good one near our house (Wheelers- on Trent). This is great for buying fresh and local.
I am still trying to make several things from scratch rather than buying packaged convenience foods: pizza, pancakes, potatoes au gratin, cheese sauces, white sauces and marinaras, desserts, soups, stews, etc. This makes me feel good about saving money, and not feeding my family lots of preservatives and chemical additives.
I am getting raw cow's milk from a local farmer!! Yes, it's expensive ($5 per gallon), but we LOVE the taste, and the cream on top to SO good on fresh fruit, or in coffee. We believe it is healthy too. I am getting a gallon and a half per week, and been making yogurt in my crock pot (!) with one of the half gallons.
At Costco I am still buying pasta, canned goods (diced tomatoes, beans, applesauce), peanut butter, pretzels, Seattle Mountain coffee, hummus and occasionally I splurge on a log of goat cheese, a dress for Lindy, or some other such pleasure. (Gotta earn my membership back, right? Ha. I may go without next year. We'll see.)
WINCO has come to Spokane, and I love it!! This is where I am buying meat, cheese, salsa, and cereal. And it is so cheap! I really appreciate the fact that I can avoid Walmart (I hate the crowds there!), and the stress of couponing by shopping at WINCO. I have no problems with bagging my own groceries. In fact, I prefer it. The baggers usually do it wrong. ;-)
OH- and, I am still trying to bake my own bread. BUT- when I don't, I am buying the $.50 loafs at WINCO or Fred Meyer. Then, I don't feel guilty!
And I am still printing off occasional coupons and following frugal blogs for tips that I may want to try. And when I feel like I can handle the pressure, I get the Wednesday (sale ads) and Sunday (coupons) newspapers, clip my coupons and plan my menus. But this is not my normal system, because I often fall behind and get unorganized. And I can't feel like I am failing if I miss the sale ads.
So, there's my system. No guilt and no stress about coupons and sales. This works really well for me, and I feel like I am really providing my family with healthy, wholesome, quality food, yet I am still sticking to my budget of $90 per week. Cool, huh.

Some Summer Pics...

These are from a week or so ago with the kids out on the "ski bob" being pulled by the boat. And also a couple of pics from Kent's birthday hiking adventure. Kent and the kids ARE at the top of the rocks- squint real hard, they're there.

Another dance recital-

Aw, so cute. Anybody notice Kent's shirt?

Family Tickers-

So, I figured out how to set up these cute things, but can't figure out how to insert them into the sidebar of my blog. Anybody?

And this is only half of it....

Kent caught this on his camera phone at mom and dad's the other day. Unreal, huh? I love that lake more than any other place in the world.

THE plan (finally)-

Anyone who knows me knows that I have had a passion for all things birth and baby related for several years. My journey has led me from being a certified doula assisting families in hospitals, to assisting some lovely midwives in various out-of-hospital settings. My son's birth was a typical hospital birth with my OBGYN. Four and a half years later my daughter's was a birth in my home with a midwife in attendance. It was life-changing, and there was no going back for me. Homebirths and the midwifery model of care became my goal and dream.

I finally have a realistic plan and goal for my midwifery education. In the coming year, I will be working towards my Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) status from the North American Registry of Midwives (NARM) and state midwifery license in Idaho. I will be completing my Portfolio Evaluation Process (PEP) and studying as an apprentice under at least two amazing midwives. I should be able to complete my requirements within a year, due to the experience that I already have under my belt assisting midwives for the past four years.

I had been considering midwifery schools, and even nursing school. I know that a few weeks ago I posted on here about the Midwifery College of Utah, but it is still $200 per credit, and that kind of money is just not around right now for us. Kent and I are not willing to go into debt again. We have not used credit cards or taken out loans at all for the past three years. We will pay as we go when Kent gets his doctorate, so we are not about to enter into huge debt for midwifery school for me. The state of Washington basically requires midwifery school for licensure, this is why I am choosing to license in the state of Idaho for now. (I live only 5 miles from the state line and all of my family is in Idaho.) I also strongly believe in apprenticeship-model education. Maybe we can afford more schooling for me in the future.

SO- here is the list of primary textbooks that I will need. And I am putting this out there at the suggestion of one of my mentors, and soon, preceptor. She recommended that I put this book list out so that anyone who wants to donate to my midwifery education may do so buy purchasing a book or Amazon certificate for me. Here is the list-

-Davis, Elizabeth, Heart and Hands: A Midwife’s Guide to Pregnancy and Birth, 4th edition, Celestial Arts, 2004.
-Frye, Anne, Holistic Midwifery: A Comprehensive Textbook for Midwives and Home Birth Practice, Vol. I,
-Care During Pregnancy, Labrys Press, revised 1995.
-Frye, Anne. Holistic Midwifery: A Comprehensive Textbook for Midwives and Home Birth Practice, Vol. II,
-Care During Labor and Birth, Labrys Press, 2004.
-Frye, Anne, Understanding Diagnostic Tests in the Childbearing Year, 6th edition, Labrys Press, 1997.
-Gaskin, Ina May, Spiritual Midwifery, 4th edition, The Book Publishing Company, 2002.
-Myles, Margaret, Textbook for Midwives, 14th edition, Elsevier, 2003
-Page, Lesley Ann, The New Midwifery, Churchill Livingstone, 2000
-Simpkin & Ancheta, Labor Progress Handbook, Blackwell, 2000
-Sinclair, Constance, A Midwife’s Handbook, Saunders, 2004
-Thureen, Assessment & Care of the Well Newborn, Saunders, 1998
-Varney, Helen, Midwifery, 4th edition, Jones and Bartlett, 2003
-Walsh, Linda, Midwifery: Community Based Childbirth, Saunders, 2001

Yea summer!

We had an absolutely gorgeous weekend- upper 70s, low 80s, sunny and beautiful. Here's a couple of pics. You know you want to visit!

YOU would love this book...

And I mean you.
Because He Loves Me by Elyse Fitzpatrick (Click here)
The ladies at our church just went through this book the past couple of months. It has been life-changing for me. And I particularly recommend it to those of you who grew up in a Christian home: even if the hypocrisy ran rampant and you are justifiably jaded now, or if your home was all about tradition and legalism: this book takes what you know (head knowledge, intellectual assent: the gospel), and shows us how to inform our hearts (apply the gospel). So, there's my commercial. Let me know if you read it and what you think!!

The pendulum swings back...

So...I am thinking about midwifery school again. Seriously thinking about it. Kent always supports me and thinks it is a great idea. He loves to see me all passionate and energized like I get about birth. I am looking at the distance program for the Midwives College of Utah. Here is a link to their philosophy. I like it. I really should start on some of my requirements here at the community college, at least.
A large reason I have hesitated about school in the past, is because I tell myself that I still don't have my household under control, and I shouldn't devote myself to outside things when the house is in shambles. BUT, I do think that I often do better with more time restrictions and structure. Kinda crazy, but sometimes I do a better job at home when I'm crazy busy running around, and know that I only have two hours to do a load of laundry and clean up the kitchen, rather than all day.
Do I sound like I'm justifying?

An apology post....

I have been sorely negligent to my little blog here, and I apologize. I have lovely pictures of Easter and Lindy's 4th birthday to post, and they will be coming soon. I promise. (I have this little issue with my laptop, and have to use Kent's to download pics...)
But, please enjoy this picture on the day after Mother's Day. This scene resembles Lin and I today, as she is sick with a fever, but I am so enjoying being home with her to cuddle and soothe her.

Make a Smilebox invite

Quotes on Troubles-

“Often the same thing that makes one person bitter makes another better.” J.C. Ryle

“God often digs the wells of joy with the spades of affliction.” Isaac Watts

“To scale great heights, we must come out of the lowermost depths. The way to heaven all too often leads through hell.” Herman Melville

“Affliction is often that thing which prepares an ordinary person for some sort of an extraordinary destiny.” C.S. Lewis

(I did not pull these together myself, I lifted them from George Grant's blog here.)