Saturday, June 28, 2008

Life Passed On-

I held a deceased baby today. I guess it was bound to happen. I've been attending births now for almost 7 years, almost completely avoiding tragedy of any kind, really. But like Margaret says, "Birth is as safe as life gets." And today was my day to see and hold a baby whose soul had passed on. Blond, fuzzy hair, red lips, long feet, absolutely gorgeous, perfectly formed full term baby girl. When she was being examined I could have sworn she was going to open her eyes, turn her head or raise her arms. It was shocking to me how UN-shocking she was in reality. Wrapped in a blanket, I found myself rocking and bouncing her as I always do when holding a newborn. Stillbirth is an appropriate medical term, I think. Because that is how she looked and felt- like any other newborn- just still. So still.


Benjamin said...

Sorry to hear that, Terri. It's something I can't even imagine going through.... out of curiosity, I imagine the statistics show the percentage of stillborns for midwife-attended births is less than that of hospital births. Do you have any idea what those percentages are?

Sarah said...

Oh Terri! You so beautifully captured the depth of this experience that I could picture it unfolding in my mind. Right now I'm listening to "Trading my Sorrows" on Pandora: "I'm trading my sorrows for the joy of the Lord...." What a comfort to know these precious ones are in the arms of Jesus. What would we do without this knowledge? May you be encouraged, my dear.